“LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL”….IS IT ?

“Agape- This is not me”…..a tear rolled  down from her eyes, went through the cheek and disappeared…just like time.

This happened to subhadra when she overheard the conversation of the doctor treating her, as she was in the ICU fighting blood cancer. One of the doctor said, “such a fine lady but has only three more months…max to live,  wish we could save her.”

100 / 45

This conversation deeply sank her heart and she was trying to regain her senses. Being from the banking sector, a performing bank manager,
Subhadra started converting the months to days. “ Only 100 more days I have in my life account? This is not a big number. I am 45 years now and I thought I have a long life to live”

Waiting outside the ICU her husband Ashok and their only son Sowrab who also could not do much to help Subhadra. They were sad, but were
they really sad?

Sowrab had completed his engineering studies and had started an startup with his three friends and had no time to spare at home. New ideas, new ventures, new challenges and his new girlfriend DIsha was keeping him really occupied. Life was indeed beautiful for him.

On the other hand Ashok , a real estate dealer had the busiest days always. Another interest of investing or maybe gambling in the stock market was his obsessed passion.

LOVE

His requirements of money on the go was fulfilled with a little ease by Subhadra, his wife, also the bank manager, whom she loved beyond any words could express. But did she receive that love ? Not a sure yes, but yes Ashok had a love of his life Naina whom he was having a relationship since his childhood. Ashok and Naina were soulmates, but could not be partners due to the barrier of castes and were not given consent to be ‘pne’ by their respective parents. However, they still were there for one another even to date and were also living individual family life- A beautiful one.

Sitting outside the ICU Ashok had long conversations with Naina and Sowrab was planning his life with Disha.

LIFE

Suffering alone was Subhadra, as she remembered her parents who were resating in heaven. In a jiffy her life went into a flashback mode.

Questions kept creeping in one by one… Who am I ? Is this life ? I have so many wishes to fulfil… can i  ever do it ? My desires ? The pending files…
God give me some time. Give me life.

MEMORIES

Subhadra remembered the tamarind tree in her backyard where she played with her childhood friends. She was the happiest kid in the village
and while her parents were busy in the fields working as labourers, she being the eldest would take care of her four younger siblings.
So much joy, laughter, the merry making and countless dreams cause as a memory. Subhadra as the name indicates, She was the auspicious and a brave child. Excellent in her academics, she topped the banking exams and did the best for her family. All her dreams to provide for her poor parents were met and she was indeed successful in it… but was her life a success?

Life is – BEAUTIFUL

Having a tagline for her life which was “Life is beautiful’ she then pondered on the second half of her life. Having an arranged marriage with Ashok, she moved from her tiny village to a town, where life was not the same. No relatives to ask for help, no friends to rely on… She  had to
start everything fresh. She did it, she gave her 100 percent to their wedded life…but now only 100 days remain… Can life be beautiful ? Still ?
The question remains.

A go-getter by nature and a very optimistic person, she hoped that Ashok would be hers 100 percent someday…but it was nearly  23 years and it was not true still as she came to know about Naina some 20 years back… but she was optimistic… or over optimistic ?

ISLAND

In her village there was an island which she wanted to visit from her childhood days with her life partner alone…and the wish still remained a
wish. She wanted care, love and concern which she had given 100 percent, but had no courage to demand it back.

Conversations in her mind were mixed like intervened wires and nothing was the outcome but only clutter and hidden intensions revealed one by one. 

23

She was on transfers and would go from city to city and the feeling of a settled family was never there. Due to her job the bond between the couple was not a strong one and Ashok had Naina always by his side. Sons education being a priority, he was with the father always. Hence
family life had to be pushed by Subhadra alone…always.

Whom to blame? Married nearly 23 years but still not settled. Whom to blame ? Have everything that people desire but nothing in hand. Still…Life is beautiful.

BED

Her desires were ordinary and were easily to be fulfilled. Did Subhadra do anything wrong by waiting for another person to fulfil her childhood
wishes? Like any other ordinary lady her wish was a caring family and acceptance in society.

She is shifted to the ward and waiting to see her is her husband and son. She saw care in their eyes, she saw concern. She did realise both of them were tensed. Ashok helped her to  be comfortable in the hospital bed, but she wanted a comforting shoulder  all her life…but never got it when she had health in her pity. 

HAPPY

Her son Sowrab was having long conversations with the doctor and even with her , but she waited for so many years to have meaningful conversations

With her son every evening,  but there was no time. She is happy.. but tears roll down.

In the neighbourhood, their house was the biggest, their vehicles were of the biggest brand and their clothes were super rich. Neighbours envied on the lifestyle they lived  and for the outside world this family of Ashok, Subhadra and Sowrab was the best and very beautiful. They had everything that any family needed, but the question still remains – Is life beautiful ?

PHONE

100 more days, but 100 more dreams and desires. Did life give time to Subhadra to explore life on  her termes ? This question was haunting her
in the hospital bed. she had no energy, and  more importantly -she had no courage. Courage to face life and to expone it in all fulness.
Messages from her siblings were pouncing in on whatsapp. “Get well soon, we are praying for you “ was the status of her colleagues on Social
media. However, no one had time to come and visit personally because Subhadrs too had no time when she was at work, the most performing
bank manager.

MY LIFE, MY WAY

What do I do now ?  I will live my life on my terms. I shall make  time for my  conversations with self and my creator. There is so much to plan and execute and give my 100% as always. I have a life to live ….my life …..my way. Thoughts and tears kept flowing just like the drips from the
glucose bottle, one by one, but Subhadra could not move from her bed she needed assistance to do it

The desires to do this and that after her retirement at 60 years seemed like a reel which was very short. It started and ended. At this point she
mustered courage to express her feeling to Ashok as well as Sourab. 

COURAGE

Having an eye to eye contact, she questioned Ashok on her family life and why she did not get 100 percent of care which she always gave. Ashok regretted and said he was and will give it from now. Tears rolled from his
eyes too.

was next. Subhadra fearlessly questioned on the less time given to her and Sowrab too said sorry for the careless attitude and promised to give
all his time to her and their family. For the first time mother and son had a genuine hug. It hit the heart straight and a bond was created.. That
would last..is it?

TIME

Subhadra was deeply satisfied to be really courageous and used her optimistic behaviour to question her very close family. She felt a sense of
completeness in all her heart even when her body was in pain. Having deep faith in her creator she said,” Lord I thank you for the gift of
life and for making my life beautiful, but I wish to live. Give me time.” I thought I would do everything for me and my family in the coming days.
I had so many desires. Now that both are with me, I wish to be with them. Give me time.

ISLAND

Having Everything…but time…she had only 100 days and her account was depleting.

Nothing more could be done but live life in contentment and fulfil the desires that were there pending.

Her son booked the tickets to her native place and now a new resort had come in the Island she wished to visit since her childhood days.

All three spent a weekend at the Island and once they were back, Subhdra felt at ease.

Now lying in her sophisticated bedroom, she was again all alone while Ashok and Sowrab had a life full of buzz.

A TO Z

EPILOGUE:-
Life is indeed beautiful. This narration starts with the word ‘A’ and ends
with ‘Z’.

Life is beautiful- it is but for Subhadra – life is beautiful – is it ? We wait all our life to create memories with our loved ones but the irony is – how much time we have is always an unknown fact. We feel we will achieve this by this time and plan for better days ahead, but the fact is, its now or never.

Life is beautiful

Live it today and now

Live it on your terms.

SUBHADRA – 100%

‘This is not me’ a realisation that Subhdra had at her death bed. A person full of life, energy and optimism was transformed to a person full of pain, hidden desires and no courage to question her own loved ones for years, but when she realised time was slipping like sand in her hand…she realised her true nature and lived her life which was ended beautiful.